Homeless people will now be expected to pay for any extra room they may have, it has been announced.
‘It this time of austerity it is vital that every person pull their weight and that includes the people who are making free use of our great outdoors,’ said a Downing Street statement. ‘There are many of our indoors challenged citizens using family sized boxes to keep themselves warm at night, why should they get extra.’
Man in the street Paul Bradley supported the measure, ‘It’s about time these layabouts paid their fair share. I saw one sleeping in the park by himself one night. Honestly, I entire park to himself that he hasn’t paid a penny for. Wish I had a park to myself but I work all week so all I get is a tiny garden. And a house, heat, electricity and, you know, a comfortable human existence. I might as well just quit.’
‘It will also help us deal with the issue of tax avoidance,’ the Downing Street statement continued. ‘All those people thought they were real clever, avoiding the Bedroom Tax by choosing to live on shop steps instead but they didn’t reckon with the cruelty of the British government.’