Former England manager Terry Venables has heroically helped secure the 2018 World Cup for England with his gutsy rendition of the Elvis Presley power ballad 'If I Can Dream'
England Chief Executive Andy Anson, spearheading the England delegation's 5 day trip to Zurich had noticed just how much impact the Sun sponsored Venables song was having on the public back home and gambled on it resonating with the wider footballing community at large .
'We thought if he (Venables) can have such a powerfull effect on the England fans back home, then it might be possible it could have an impact on the hearts and minds of Sepp Blatter and the other FIFA officials over in Zurich.
And sure enough it did' said Anson 'we were only half way through the first chorus and you could see, not only had it clearly broken their hearts but it had fucked up their minds completely.
We told Blatter that if he didn't give us the 2018 World Cup right here and now, we would not only release it as a single....but we had a whole album of other songs just like it.
We also have the John Barnes rap abomination translated into every language of the teams taking part in 2018, just in case.
'If I Can Dream' bollocks ' muttered Blatter shaking violently with his head in his hands 'I'm already having fucking nightmares about it, the World Cup's yours you bastards'
'Hmmm, just a thought' pondered Anson 'nobody has been given Euro 2020 yet....has anybody got Hoddle or Waddle's phone number handy'.
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Venables singing lands England 2018 World Cup
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edward hack
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