The NHS is seeking to reclaim £10m worth of cutting-edge surgical equipment, inadvertently left behind by surgeons as they sewed-up patients in the operating theatre.
Announcing the initiative, Health Minister Jeremy Hunt, said he was prepared to write-off the hundreds of miles of rubber tubing left behind. But wanted patients with valuable forceps, clamps and scalpels inside them to present themselves for free 'reclamation surgery' at a specially converted abattoir in Surbiton.
“This is an official amnesty in conjunction with Scotland Yard and the Home Office,” promised the Minister. “Let me assure the British public, give us our instruments back and nobody will be prosecuted for theft.”