Sir Alex Ferguson has received a letter from the Queen urging him to rescind his decision to retire and stay on as Manager of Manchester United.
Sources close to her Majesty reveal she has advised Sir Alex and Lady Ferguson to adopt 50 year old Everton boss David Moyes and put him to work as football's first ever Prince Regent. “Ever since 1649 and the sudden loss of our dear ancestor Charles, we Royals don't hold with anything to do with making clean breaks,” she explained. “One suspects such things awfen go wrong and lead to sudden falls of a somewhat painful nature.”
The Queen, a staunch fan since she first clapped eyes on Nobby Stiles, believes the job of MU Manager should be, like her own, for life. “Continuity's the only thing,” she decreed. “Seamless successions with lavish Coronations following naturally from sausages at Balmoral and backing a winner at Royal Askit.”
Should Fergie agree, David Moyes will fill the gap left by Baroness Thatcher and be invested into the Order of the Garter. He'll also be made an Admiral of the Fleet and given the Dukedom of Goodison, vacant since 1156.