Physicists at CERN have decided that it's obviously too hard to try and get 2 protons to smash together so instead it has been proposed by leading boffin Prof. Stephen Hawking that instead of using a high energy beam to smash the particles together they will try and seive them out.
Prof. Hawking has also proposed several other radical theories including:
Building a sofa out of charged particles and then looking for the elusive Higgs-Boson down the back of it;
Shining a really, really, really bright light(like 3 times more powerful than the headlights on a ford mondeo) into space and any bits that are still dark are probably dark matter;
Connecting his chair to the Internet via a 1980s modem, while adding pictures of models and a barbie doll into it's circuitry in an attempt to create Kelly Lebrock.
These latest theories have prompted some scientists to wonder whether Prof. Hawking has left the Wi-Fi on his chair unsecured and he has been hacked. This was made into a more feasible explanation after he called Richard Dawking a "noob" and then made a noise like "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL".