A man bought a cat yesterday "to keep me company".
Home Secretary Janice Whatsit was called upon to make a statement about the situation but her response was dubbed "poor and lacking in substance" by most newspapers.
Daily Express columnist Argie Mental said "Saying big effing deal is simply not good enough".
Scotsman writer Margo McMaddie said: "It's a wee bit disappointing when yer ain folk piss aboot and that".
The man, who lives in Manchester, was said last night to be "perfectly cool about the whole thing". The cat was last seen sitting on top of the microwave in the kitchen.