In a claim that will once more open up the privacy debate, Google have declared that their innovative glasses could have helped police in identifying celebratory perverts.
While originally designed to recognize historic landmarks, the new App for the glasses is set to include face and iris recognition tools. Goggle chief executive, Eric Schmidt, explained the biometric possibilities: "For a long time now, the public have struggled to distinguish between Ant and Dec. Yes they look like Geordie hobbits, but which is which? These glasses will tell you."
When reporters pointed at that neither Ant or Dec had been implicated in any wrong-doing, Mr. Schmidt clarified: "That's irrelevant. Their appearance alone will reveal their propensity for crime. Take celebrity couple Tess Daly and Vernon Kay. Ms. Daly is symmetrical perfection, while Mr Kay with his broken nose, lazy eye, cauliflower ear - would give Picasso nightmares. Clearly we can conclude that Ms. Daly is an angel whose farts smell of cinnamon, while Mr Kay is a psychopath who corrupts goats. Basic science. "
Nick Pickles, director of privacy campaign group Big Brother Watch, expressed his concerns: "While I appreciate that for every lovely Rpatz, there is an philandering Kristen Stewart; Google are talking about pre- judging the famous. How does a high-definition warning sign of Kim Kardashian, prevent crime? As unsavoury as a Darren Day or Ashley Cole are, they should be allowed to walk the streets...obviously with an electronic tag of some kind," he added. "I'm not crazy!"
Like a 21st century version of celebrity maps, the public will instantly be able to identify the mansions of Madonna or Angelina Jolie and subsequently warn all orphans in the area. Even the bone conduction transducer allows the wearer to hear a high pitched squeal when Chris Brown is near, without the need for in-ear headphones.
Prototype devices are being beta tested by around 1,000 so-called Glass Explorers, all of whom have been asked to watch Coronation Street 24/7. Asked if Google Glasses could be used to identify normal sex offenders or criminals, Google replied: "Who cares?"