All graduates are to serve on chain gangs for two years, after graduating. In his Green Paper, 'We Don't Need No Education', the education secretary outlined his big idea.
The chain gangs will work on the railways, on rubbish clearance and on street clearing duties. They will have minimum rations and live in tents. 'A spell in the army is too good for them,' says the Green Paper.
'Hopefully', says Mr Gove, 'this will knock some of the rubbish out of their heads. It may also mean that many are unemployable, afterwards and so we can cut beneifits further. Many universities are likely to close, altogether, saving more money.
'The final benefit is that it will make so-called 'educated people' think twice before criticising government policy.
Lord Mandelson, speaking for the little-known Labour party, said: 'It does seem a trifle harsh but I am prepared to sign up to it and could help out, if Dave and Nick wanted me to...'