The financial regulator has issued a threat to poor people, who are really asking for it, being poor and everything.
A spokesperson said: “Most of the poor are living off benefits, which is essentially stealing. But often they own their own flat or even house, but it is either not very nice or actually bought on credit from a bank. Which is essentially stealing.
"Having no money isn't big or clever. Poor people simply have to realise that, one day, they’re really going to get it. The simple fact is, they smell, live in squalor, and display poor taste in those things they do happen to own and in the things they choose to do.”
The regulator says that statistics reveal that activities associated with being poor include football, watching ITV, excessive breeding, adultery and murder. Poor people have been urged to nurture an interest in the arts and to earn more money by finding less lowly employment in, say, a financial body.