David Cameron has proved his critics wrong with a successful walkabout among the non-Etonian community. The prime minister was seen talking to people, joking and appeared to be enjoying himself. Close friends are saying that this scotches all rumours that Cameron only surrounds himself with alumni from his old school.
Though friends warned Cameron he faced danger as he ventured among the savages, simpletons and organised cut-throats who make up the numbers in Britain's population, he soon won the herd over with a near perfect rendition of a local ritual. Standing at the entrance to a train, as many of the savages jammed into the door, Cameron was pitch perfect as he sang, in the whiney nasal tomes of the south london commuter, "Can you move dahna trine please?"
Locals were impressed as he continued the performance, adding the next verse "There's people trying to get on," before finally finishing with a crescendo of shouting, "shut the doors, I'm on the train."
Cameron chatted with locals using their own language, demonstrating his complete mastery of the shrugs, tuts and raised eye brows that make up sixty per cent of the body lingo. He even used a few words of the lingo, telling one male specimen that "it's alright for some innit" and confiding in a tribeswoman that they "mustn't grumble"
Cameron said he enjoyed the experience immensely and has made many lasting friendships. There could even come a day, he speculated, when a non-Etonian could be admitted to the cabinet. He later completed his journey home in a limo, as he had to rush back to greet one of old school friends who was joining him in a new government position.