Amoebas across the UK have expressed outrage following Respect MP George Galloway’s outburst at Labour leader Ed Miliband, in which he described the opposition leader as ‘an unprincipled coward with the backbone of an amoeba.’
Arthur Proteus, leader of Bradford West pond-life council and a constituent of Mr Galloway’s said, “It is well known that as a group we have no backbone, so to say that we have got one in such negative terms and then to mention us in the same sentence as Ed Miliband is a real insult.”
Following Mr Galloway’s comments other invertebrates have also come out in support of amoebas. Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg said, “I know what it is like to be called spineless so I can very much empathise with Ed Miliband and British amoebas who are right to be angry. I can assure them that there is a growing nucleus of support for them among Liberal Democrats and we promise to include the ‘one amoeba one hundred votes’ principle in our next manifesto.”
But Mr Proteus was not impressed, “As a group we refuse to be divided by party politics so will be putting our feet down against any such moves.”
The row has been further compounded by Ed Miliband’s response, “He may accuse me of having no backbone but like an amoeba his policies are totally shapeless.”
“One minute we’ve got no backbone and then we’re called shapeless, have these guys got no boundaries? It doesn’t take a genus to see that it will all end in tears.”
Calls for calm have been issued by Prime Minister, David Cameron. “This sort of name calling and rhetoric is very damaging to democratic debate and, like the emergence of the Respect party could easily lead to other cells forming. In fact the birth of UKIP can be traced back to a particularly nasty case of amoebic dysentery."
Mr Milliband was subsequently quoted as saying "I deny Mr Galloway's claims emphatically. I'll have you know, I am a coward of the very highest priciples."
Hat tip to Titus