Royal Bank of Scotland, 65% owned by UK taxpayers, is to be sold to the online gambling organisation betfred.com. The exact details of the deal are yet to be revealed, but it is understood that only a nominal payment will be made to “take it off your hands, gov.”
A Betfred spokesman was keen to point out the obvious similarities in the way the businesses operated i.e. every transaction provides immense excitement and is a huge gamble - you never know if you will get your money back. RBS did bet on Fred (Goodwin) many years ago and lost, but this time they are sure they are onto a winner.
RBS had been known to be in talks with Coral after former HBOS director Andy Hornby took the helm and wanted to discuss “synergy” and “alignment in the market”, but even RBS couldn’t take any more management bullshit from him so looked around for another partner who was good at taking money off naive punters.
In other news, Lloyds Bank have announced that after the deal with the Co-op fell through they are to sell all their TSB branches to Bolton entrepreneur and finance wizzkid Dave Fishwick who runs Bank of Dave and who is looking to “go nuclear”.