Home secretary, Theresa May has announced that she has sold her soul to Satan in order to secure the deportation of potential bad un, Abu Qatada. The move means sweeping new powers for May, said to include the summoning of plague animals and pestilence, initiation of earthquakes, laser vision and 'spider sense'.
She said: "And lo, I shall move the very earth and mountains and sky to my ends. Banishment shall be done. ETERNAAAAAL!"