Bollocks narrowly squeezed out arse to become the new official word for 'the sound made when one expels gas from ones mouth' in guidelines issued by the British Onomatopoeic Office this morning.
"The overwhelming number of rough workmen, football fans, lager drinkers and people from the north who speak the word 'bollocks' whilst bollocksing has made the change utterly unavoidable", said the report's co-author Sir Rupert Barclay, though he admitted the popularity of 'arse' had made the decision challenging.
"Clearly there is nothing to stop you saying arse whilst you bollocks, if you so wish, but what you have done remains very much a bollocks, at least in the eyes of the government."
When pressed on the worrying issue of how working class people should now refer to their testicles, Sir Rupert could offer little recommendation beyond using "the perfectly serviceable knackers", telling reporters,
"I'm afraid it is a matter that lies outside the remit of this department, unless of course they start making noises."
And in an attempt to avoid any further confusion the government were quick to clarify that 'talking bollocks' remains "quite acceptable in all circumstances".