Snoop Lion, formally Snoop Dog, has announced his conversion to the Church of England after being won round by the culture of openness to tea, cakes, and very mild religion.
The overly relaxed rap star, dressed in M&S chinos and a river island stone washed pink rugby top, revealed that his latest incarnation as Snoop Mouse would fully respect the history and ethos of the wishy washy middle class culture, claiming that "Snoop Mouse is not out to highjack the whole bizzle, I got enough respect for everyone who been in there from the get go, as you know", emphasising his statement after a long intake of Twinings English Breakfast with; "Fo Sho".
However many Church of England believers have criticised Snoops decision and there have been cautious concerns that this is merely a stunt. "Whilst I welcome Snoops decision to come to know Jesus Christ through going to church once or twice a year and sort of believing in God, I'm also slightly reticent that he does not fully understand, and respect, our culture", the Rev Samantha Higgins confessed to reporters, "Whilst a large part of our culture does revolve around drinking copious amount of teas, both for relaxation, pleasure and to bring us closure to God, it's not the be all and end all, we also have a rich history of bring and buy sales and praying which Snoop seems to have not talked about thus far".
The conversion to CoE has coincided with Snoops latest mixtape "G-O double D" a free download acting as a precursor to his full album out later this year, as yet untitled, which will see a mixture of G-funk, rap, and uncomfortable half hearted congregational singing.
This needs work! Anyone want to pick up/suggest anything here, please do...