Social realism is being taken to new heights by Coronation Street bosses following the scheduled move to Manchester’s Salford Quays. For the first time in the Street’s history doors will be open 24/7 to fans who are looking for more than just a vicarious TV experience.
It is hoped that the decision will lead to less dreary storylines and realistic cliff hangers. A new tramline from Manchester Piccadilly to the studios will also give fans easier access to their favourite TV characters at very reasonable rates, thus ensuring a steady flow of characters from Greater Manchester's underbelly.
A spokesman for the show said, “Anyone who fancies taking a pot at Gail Platt will be able to come along for a bit of a stalk before making their move under the full glare of our TV cameras. Viewer participation will be key to Corrie’s continuing success so we’ll be encouraging anyone with an axe to grind to pop along to the studios and take stories in completely new directions.”
In a pilot version of the new format corner shop owner Dev Alahan was taken by surprise when ardent Coronation Street fan, Ronald Coleman of Oldham, armed himself with a baseball bat and beat him across the head for no reason at all. “I found his previous acting skills left a lot to be desired, but his subsequent scenes in Manchester Royal Infirmary are sure to put him in line for a Bafta and increase ratings.” Said a satisfied Ron, I feel more part of it now.
To kick things off officially, editors are hoping for fans to assist with a new storyline on sexually transmitted diseases with Fiz Brown as the central character. “We have put a call out to a range of sexual deviants via our Facebook fan page but for some reason the take up hasn’t been that good yet. However we’ve got Rita Sullivan on standby so things could pick up.”
Meanwhile fans of Kevin Webster are being directed to Manchester Crown Court where he is allegedly running his own reality show.