Labour's Gwent Gathring, MP for Llandfill, has criticised plans by a cross-party group of MPs to self-immolate as a tribute to the late Tory Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher.
Repugnant traitor, Gathring, said that the plans represented a health and safety hazard at a large-scale public event and even suggested that such action might be 'excessive'.
Gathring also said that the Palace had been put in a difficult situation having been asked to put forward a member of the Royal Family for sacrifice at the event, to be held on a purpose-built ziggurat on the Mall.
Meanwhile, as costs for the public funeral spiral, ministers have moved to assure the public that the ziggurat will not prove to be a white elephant and that the event will provide a lasting legacy, getting more youngsters interested in neo-liberalism and jingoism.
Chancellor George Osborne says that the event will boost the economy by £973 billion. He told NewsBiscuit: "Plans put in place by the last government would have seen Margaret Thatcher's coffin flanked, at vast expense, by service men and women dependent on the state for their income, rather than facing imminent redundancy like good patriots.
"We are all the Children of Thatcher," he added as he drew a machete across his naked, sweaty chest.