An Arsenal fan who admitted throwing a banana at Tottenham’s Welsh international Gareth Bale during a recent match between the two sides has been convicted of being terminally thick.
Thomas Flint of Enfield admitted in Highbury Corner Magistrates' Court to visiting a greengrocer on his way to the game. He said that he had the intention of buying leeks to throw at Mr Bale, but forgot what the national symbol of Wales was and bought bananas instead as he'd seen them thrown at football matches many years previously. The court heard that Mr Flint also went to a butchers to buy pork chops for use in an anti-Semitic gesture towards the Tottenham fans but got confused and came out with some Halal beef instead.
Following his arrest for the banana-throwing incident, Mr Flint was interviewed several times. The Metropolitan Police, Criminal Psychologists and Community Leaders all investigated the possibility that he was racist, anti-Welsh and anti-Semitic. They concluded that Mr Flint was probably all of these things but that it was primarily due to him being incredibly dense.
District Judge Rebecca Crane described Mr Flint as "More than foolish” before sentencing him to a three-year football banning order and a fine of £250 with further costs of £85. She also suggested that if he became any more stupid, he would have to be watered twice a week.