US and UK intelligence agencies today released humiliating transcripts of intercepted communications showing the real reason behind the North Korean leader’s recent bellicose bravado.
Kim Jong-un, the chubby, immature, spoilt, attention-seeking, bully leader of North Korea with a very silly haircut, is apparently miffed he cannot get hold of a Samsung G3 tablet.
He is also said to be insanely jealous of the success of South Korean pop sensation Psy and his hit ‘Gangnam Style’, which has achieved more than 1 billion hits on YouTube, approximately 41 times the population of North Korea.
This, coupled with all the jokes about him on social media sites and the ridicule his dad received in the film ‘Team America’ has apparently tipped him over the edge in a ‘Kevin The Teenager’-style outburst of bravado, leading to him pointing his silly toys at the good tough guys.
“That’s the trouble with an hereditary dictatorship system” said oppressed farmer Oo Flung Dung, who now works in a forced labour camp, helping to cremate all the dead workers “it is inevitable an immature nutter like Kim Jong-un will come along, although the previous two were also blooming hopeless.”
Brothel Madam U Lai Me expressed concern: “Fuck me, this has come as a tremendous blow, I just hope it has a happy ending” she ejaculated.