Amid rising tensions on the Korean peninsula, the North has announced the surprise unveiling of a state-of-the-art missile defence net. A bulletin - broadcast over state-run television news - read in part that the net will "allow the mighty DPRK [North] to strike with merciless impunity against the traitorous South, and its cringingly insipid puppet-masters the United States."
The net - fashioned from baling twine, along with copper strands from the regime's long-disused power cables - is said to run from Nampho on the country's East coast, all the way to Chunghwa County, roughly 22 miles from the country's East coast. Satellite imaging suggests it may be up to 47 feet high.
Kim Jong Un called the shield "the final brick in the wall of our invincibility", going on to state that the "spineless timidity of the capitalist warmongers will now be proven. The West - in all its effete, shilly-shallying feebleness - will be smashed once and for all!".
As of press time the net had blown down, leaving the North relying solely on its anti-mustard-gas picket fence.