The government is launching a multi-million-pound campaign to combat equine drug abuse in the wake of the scandalous levels of Bute discovered in Asda meat.
"The level of mind-altering substances ingested by the country's horses is clearly unacceptable", says Laura Hinds, of the Drug Education Forum. "It has reached the stage where it must be interfering with basic motor and cognitive functions, and could explain some of the more spectacular disappointments at recent race meetings".
The campaign will focus on fostering a more mature approach to drug use and resisting peer pressure. Its organisers are testing some possible slogans, and are inviting suggestions from the public, although they stress that they have already considered and rejected "Just Say Neigh", and don't want to hear it again.
"We need to teach how drug abuse is selfish and hurts others as well", said Ms Hinds. "Horses need to be mindful of the harm and distress they are posthumously causing to innocent consumers of corned beef, hamburgers and lasagne".