Banker James Crosby, will be given a knighthood in recognition of having offered to give up his knighthood following the banking scandal.
A spokesmanperson for Buckingham Palace said: 'We like to recognise acts of selflessness, and this is surely a great example. We had to threaten Fred Goodwin with being locked in a room with Sarah Fergusson before he would give up his knighthood, but James is a much more decent bloke, and the Queen is desperate to show some regognition of what a wonderful person he is. I'm sure none of this banking business was his fault really. And he's decided to give up a few quid from his paltry half-million pension! We're getting in touch with the Vatican to have him sainted, as he is clearly too good for this planet.'