Harold: Tripadvisor Says "Don't Go There"
(23 posts) (10 voices)
We're not on tripadvisor yet, but thanks for the idea!!
I've heard of Harold but what's tripadvisor?
Admittedly, the gay couple who run the B&B aren't very welcoming to hetero couples who want double rooms, but on the whole it's a great place to visit.
Actually, Perks is right - getting some Harold places on tripadvisor is a great idea - people could write reviews etc. I wonder what their policy is on not quite real places?
Remember we did that with a pub's review somewhere?
Did we not all get banned from TripAdviser for that?
Only one way to find out Rick!
And it's not a Harry Hill style fight
Damn, they have a tight verification for new places!
What? It is real, I've seen the local paper.
Maybe if we show tripadvisor the local paper they'll let us in.
I remember we spent a night camped in some b&b's comments, and they kicked us all out in the morning.
Probably not worth spending too much time on it then.
You getting confused with "tripeadvisor" - you definitely don't want to be listed in that, it's truly offal.
Doesn't the Squirrel Licker’s Arms offer accommodation? I'd like to read a review of that. Even if someone has to create a review website to post it on - "Tripeadvisor" sounds quite a suitable name.
I've just tried, and tripeadvisor.com is already taken.
Hopefully by one of you lot.
Tripeadvisor is a cracking idea!
What about trippyadvisor?
I bet tripadvisor bought tripeadvisor too, to be on the safe side. Like all the versions of "playstationsucks" are owned by Sony.
I'm a bit tempted by tripeadvisor.org, though. It's available...
Sounds like a great idea, could be places are awarded steaming turds as someone suggested earlier.
Dear Harold Chamber of Commerce.
I’m just writing to let you know that, to do our bit for community relations in anticipation of the forthcoming visit to the village by reviewers from Tripeadvisor, we at ‘Chumley & Sons, Specialist Pork Butchers (est.,1905)’ will be changing our name to ‘Chumley & Sons, Specialist Halaal Pork Butchers (est., 1905)’. This will put Harold on the map as the only village in Britain to offer ritually slaughtered Pork products. It seems ridiculous to me that something as simple as abattoir etiquette should be an obstacle which prevents our friends in the Moslem community
lining my pocketsfully enjoying our delicious home cured bacon, succulent smoked hams and breaded chittlings, not to mention our selection of superb ‘made on the day’ Roast Pork and Cider pasties.
Norman the sign writer has promised that the new sign for the shop will be finished by Saturday (In both English and Farsi) so we’ll be celebrating with a launch day hog roast on the pavement outside. To give the event an appropriately islamic flavour Vicky and Tina, our two nubile and obliging Saturday girls, will be swapping their New Look micro mini's for traditional Afghan burkas whilst some of the ladies from the activity group at The Yewtree Rest Home will be rubbing on extra linament to thrill our new middle-eastern customers with a sensually gyrating display of authentic Arabian style belly-dancing.
I’ve sent the lad off to visit all the local mosques with invitations to the event, along with a few packets of pork scratchings and complementary samples from our new 'Prophet's Fingers' range of halaal pork & herb sausages, so we’re expecting a really good turn-out which should ensure that the day really goes with a bang.
Vernon Chumley (Prop.)
Chumley & Sons, Specialist Halaal Pork Butchers (est., 1905)
What about the B&B in Harold run by Mr & Mrs O'Brien and their 14 children who only allow married couples to stay provided that they share a bed and allow their luggage to be searched for contraband contraceptives?
The Squirrel Lickers Arms:
***** Fantastic place had a wonderfull time the proprieters are marvellous, much better than that dump run by the O'Briens.
- Mr & Mrs Jones (January)
***** Had a wonderfull time, the proprieters are marvellous, is a fantastic place. Don't bother with the O'Brien's place.
- Mr & Mrs Smith (February)
***** The proprieters are marvellous, this is a fantastic place, we had a wonderfull time. Glad we didn't stay at the O'Brien's terrible B&B.
- Mr & Mrs Brown (March)
*---- Absolutely ghastly place to be sure. Don't stay there. There is a delightful B&B in the next street.
- Mr & Mrs Robinson (January)
*---- Terrible. You'll not be wanting ever to stay there ever again. Sure and there's a much better B&B place right near there.
- Mr & Mrs Wilkinson (February)
*---- Stayed there and didn't enjoy it at all at all. We'd be suggesting you try another B&B place quite close.
- Mr & Mrs Thomas (March)
** Terrible en-suite facilities. When I asked our 'genial host' about the bidet I was rather coarsely directed to The Yewtree Rest Home
Gerald Fracking (Miss)
I did peyote in the gentlemen's back room of the Squirrel - a really warm onrush followed by a mellowing and steady kick. The landlady said I was staring at the fruit machine for a good 3 days before she tried moving me. Ended badly with dark fear and halloucinations of rolling up the Queens Mound over and over again while being chased by honey badgers.
Over all I give it a 7 out of 10.
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