Although widely regarded by most commentators as having been a great improvement for safety and animal welfare over recent times, this year's the Grand National run yesterday at Aintree, isn't being praised by one particular section of the food production industry.
Speaking last night from a murky backstreet abattoir near the course a shadowy figure told Channel 4, "The fact that no horses died running in the race has put me in a very awkward position. I had several dodgy pie and burger manufacturers waiting to snap up all the cheap horsemeat I could 'acquire' from the course. They wanted it for their pies and burgers and intended to pass it off as prime Aberdeen Angus beef but now they have had to go elsewhere and this has knocked my own financial position quite hard. Normally I make enough from the race to take the wife and kids off to Tenerife in August, but it looks like it's going to have to be Butlin's this year. What's more these people aren't the sort to take being let down by a supplier lightly, and I'll certainly need to keep looking over my own shoulder for the next few weeks if I'm not to end up as the main ingredient in some budget range bolognese sauce myself."
Meanwhile, Clare Balding, people's darling, and who is being tipped by some bookies as a future monarch, hit back on behalf of the horse-racing community. She stated that the lack of injuries or fatalities was a vindication of the improvements that had been brought in for the race, and added that if people wanted access to cheap and suspect quality sources of meat, then there are still options such as as yet undiscovered Tesco and Iceland own brand ranges, Findus products generally, not to mention the many industrial caterers supplying directly to the school dinner and prison meal sectors.