Astrophysicists and cosmologists may be close to finding a reason for Gryff Rhys Jones, after a successful initial experiment made by the $2bn Alpha Magnetic Spectrometer (AMS) on board the International Space Station.
Gryff Rhys Jones has puzzled scientists and TV viewers alike since the dawn of time. Not quite a TV personality, not really an actor, not a comedian at all and not much of a TV presenter, the bluffly middleweight former public schoolboy has consistently defied any form of scientific or logical explanation, despite costly investigations. Now though, it’s understood that a direct line can be drawn from Rhys Jones all the way back to the big bang and perhaps earlier. Indeed the universe itself may be made up of particles similar to those found in the now-bearded near-Welshman.
“Milliseconds after the big bang, dark matter almost certainly created a gravitational framework for holding the universe together” said Mary Smythurst, Professor of Particle Physics at Stanford University. “The exact same atomic matter that we find makes up so much of Gryff Rhys Jones today was flung out in literally astronomical quantities 30 million years ago. It took scores of millions of years before tiny amounts of this matter actually became the main physical ingredient of the daytime TV star.”
Plans are now well advanced for the former Countdown guest to be hurled at massive speeds round the Large Hadron Collider at Cerne, Switzerland, and smashed into that other one, the one with curly hair, you know the one. Fat with a beard, and not funny either. Usually in Three Men in a Boat with Gryff Rhys Jones and that other one who I can’t remember at all.
Anyway. Scientists believe that the resulting particles from the collision could tell us even more about why Gryff Rhys Jones attained the minor place he now occupies in our ever-more-intriguing universe.