Researchers at the University of the 5 Counties in East Grinstead belive they have identified the secret to living to a ripe old age. Over a period of several minutes they examined a random group of nonagenarians, asked them some questions, and then looked for common threads in the responses.
"One startling fact emerged immediately" said excited Head of Research Professor Larry Boffin Phd (online). "Every single one of them had a date of birth prior to 1924. We believe that there must have been something in the water in those early years of the 20th century that imbued the secret of eternal life into people born at that time. It's probably something to do with global warming" he speculated but "we will need further research grants to make sure."
There was however a note of caution. "Although DOB is the most likely candidate we did identify a number of other possibilities from the responses received. For example there was also high correlation with racism, elasticated trousers and Werther's Originals."