Following the unpopular spare bedroom tax, George Osborne’s latest proposal for a tax on spare change led to angry scenes in parliament yesterday as he unveiled his plans to recover an estimated £3bn and 2p rattling around in people’s pockets.
Opposition leader, Ed Miliband called the proposed tax ‘a pick-pockets charter’ and advised his fellow ministers to sew up their trouser pockets before leaving the chamber.
Under the proposals anyone with more than two coins in their wallet, purse or pocket will be required to forfeit 50% of the total amount on demand. The tax will also apply to anyone between the age of 5 and 16 who has a surplus of change in their school satchel or rucksack.
A spokesman for HMRC said, “Tax collectors and inspectors will be sent out on to the streets after being trained to recognise various sounds of rattling and jingling. Plus, in order to address any tax evasion, a specialist crack team will be equipped with metal detectors and probes to get into any hidden nooks and crannies.”
Liberty Director, Shami Chakrabarti has denounced the government’s plans to stop and search members of the public, “This is an outrageous attack on peoples’ rights to walk the streets without fear of molestation and hindrance. What about the rights of honest muggers and stalkers? This kind of government intervention is another example of Cameron’s Beg Society at work.”
Meanwhile sweat-shops up and down the country are reporting an increase in demand for pocket mufflers and SUBS, padded coin containers for strapping under bollocks.
Homeless charities have expressed concerns over claims that tax collectors may disguise themselves as street beggars to increase their commission. A spokesman for Shelter said, “The traditional cry of ‘Have you got any spare change governor?’ will no longer be confined to genuine beggars. Is nothing sacred?”