Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel will demand that in future countries like Cyprus that need Germany's financial help must agree to wear lederhosen as evidence of their resolve to reform their faltering economies.
'Germany will demand that in exchange for loans, the citizens of potentially defaulting economies will agree to wear lederhosen,' said a Bundesbank spokesman. 'The wearing of lederhosen will encourage restraint and a more austere approach to life and will be a highly visible acknowledgement of Germany's contribution to the bailout.'
But an Italian banker said he didn't think Italians would agree to such a condition.
'It's unacceptable,' he said. 'It would make us Italians look ridiculous, clowns, the laughing stock of the EU. And German.'
'It's Germany's toughest condition yet,' said a Bank of England spokesman,' but the spectacle of George Osborne wearing lederhosen would definitely boost productivity by the working classes.'
A spokesman for The Football Association warned that the wearing of lederhosen could ignite historic antagonisms on the terraces.
'Already we've had reports of l-e-d-e-r-h-o-s-e-n chanting and knobbly knees taunting at matches,' he said.'It could become very nasty.'
It's believed that Angela Merkel is prepared to impose the even more severe condition that in exchange for loans fair haired citizens of defaulting countries should wear brown shirts and strut about in high boots.