Semi-retired popstar David Bowie announced yesterday that he would be entering the world of British politics. ‘I’ll be launching the Alien Party,’ he said through his official website, Changesonebowie. ‘I think most people are sick to death with the same old Punch and Judy bollocks. I’ll be offering something new, something more self-consciously showbiz to expose that fakery that most politics is.’
Some have dismissed the announcement as a ‘cynical marketing exercise’ for his new album The Next Day, but Bowie has denied the accusation. ‘I have always been political. I gave a Nazi salute, albeit ironically, at Victoria station in 1976, but that was the cocaine-psychosis talking. My 60s recordings projected a hippy Utopia. But I suppose I’m best known for my ditties on the theme of alienation and solipsism, which in itself is a political creed.
‘I’ve therefore formed the Alien Party for anyone disgruntled with the tired and predictable rhetoric of left-right. My new polarity will be inner-outer.’
Asked for specifics about policies Mr Bowie, who has lived as a virtual recluse since his heart scare in the mid 90s, said that his manifesto would promote a new kind of ‘eclectic, synthetic plastic politics. It will be self-consciously tawdry and kitsch. Sort of Weimar republic Kabuki mime that defenestrates the old paradigm. I’m for space travel, different coloured eyeballs, unpredictability. Basically I’ll never say the same thing twice and policies will shift like shimmering glissando strings. We’ll be different because we’ll never be caught in a fixed posture. Metamorphosis – that’s our strap line.’
None of the major parties is worried about the threat posed by Bowie and his new party. ‘I have all his albums and love his music, but he should remember that politics is rock and roll for ugly people,’ said Ed Milliband. ‘He is simply too good-looking to be taken seriously.’
David Cameron, however, has welcomed the move. ‘It’s good to have Bowie back. I think his ideas about space are a natural extension of my vision of the Big Society. I think there is an opportunity there for a future coalition.’