In a shock move, the Football Association have sanctioned the introduction of a team of translators straight to the Premier League.
Pablo Suarez, formerly of Spurs is their spokesperson. “The FA agreed that this was the next logical step really. Through our jobs we have learned more about tactics, game-play, man-for-man analysis than any pundit will ever know. So what if we are all foreigners, so are Arsenal! But we all share two common languages, English and Football. There isn’t a single gesture that a Premier League player can make that we don’t already know about, so we will be one-step ahead the whole time.
The nudges, the winks, the arm-waves and mock injuries” tapping his head “it’s all stored up here. After draining the league of their translators we have a squad of 30 and the added bonus is that none of the current managers can make themselves understood now. The only team we fear is Newcastle as we couldn’t find an English-Geordie translator, and watching old Fast Show videos of Julio Geordio just doesn’t cut it
The FA have agreed that we can take QPR’s slot even if they don’t finish in the bottom three just to piss Harry off. That seems to be their raison d’être.
And if you want to know what that means, it’s going to cost you”