Being poor is the new cool in Coalition Britain says a government initiative.
'Bankers - scum; millionaires - scum; the squeezed middle - scum; hard-working families - scum; scum - scum; but being poor is cool,' says a public service television commercial to be broadcast next week.
Next week's Downing Street reception to launch the government's 'Poor Britannia' campaign will include amongst guests invited to meet the Queen, 'every down and out, vagrant, rake, tramp, sofa surfer, homeless, long-term unemployed, scrounger, illegal immigrant, orphan, skiver, minimum-wage worker, Treasury cleaner, and down on his luck banker we could find,' a Downing Street spokesman said.
'It should be a great evening and one to do our country proud,' David Cameron told a press conference assembled at a Hackney food bank which had just run out of food.
''The Big Society' is dead - long live 'Poor Britannia',' the prime minister said.
'Poor Britannia', the invention of Iain Duncan Smith and George Osborne, celebrates the coalition government's achievements in poverty creation and will feature souvenir and t-shirt shops inside JobCentre Plus offices.
'We expect to do a roaring trade on benefit payment days', a DWP salesperson said.
The climax will be a huge 'Poor Britannia' procession down The Mall of London's poor and destitute, led by the Duchess of Cambridge riding in a royal carriage with a group of bag ladies.
'It will be a great day for our country,' the prime minister said, 'and will show the world that Britain is still open for the poverty business.
'We'll put Somalia to shame.'