Pope Francis has surprised the world by making the focus of his first infallible declaration marriage between people only mildly interested in each other, according to a Vatican Spokesman.
"This unnatural union undermines the very bedrock underpinning the sanctitiy of marriage" he announced during Mass held in the Sistine Chapel yesterday "and must be actively discouraged by our community". He went on, and on, to say "I ask all involved to look into their hearts and turn back to the true path as ordained by Our Heavenly Father".
The same spokesman also also reported that the new Pope would be visiting his native Australia in the summer, and had earlier that day visited and watched some criminals' feet.
His translator has been sacked.
[This one started as a homeopathic post but got sidetracked - not sure quite what happened - any suggestions?]