A spokesman for the NHS today revealed concerns about the new non-emergency 111 line.
'We're still having problems with it,' he admitted. 'In trials, some people are still able to get through, despite the line being supplied by BT and the calls taken in Uzbekistan by illiterate peasant farmers.
'To combat this, we will replace the illiterate Uzbeki peasant farmers with British doctors. No-one has ever managed to get hold of one for the last twenty years, so we are confident that the 111 service will up to the same standard as the rest of the NHS.'