Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
Mary Evans
offlineMember
I'm not normally a girlie type lass, but when my children furnished me with a voucher for a pamper at a spa for my birthday, I thought I'd give it a go. Seemed nice enough at the time this morning, lots of tea and chat as various bit of my body were plucked and painted...
But having just got home to review the results, I now see that I look like a startled drag queen in a wind tunnel who is haemorrhaging from her fingers and toes. It's a great look.
thisisall1word
offlineMember
Mary's much younger sister - is that you?
Ever seen the episode of Malcolm in the Middle where Lois is criticised for never making 'an effort' at work. She applies lots of blue eye shadow and red rouge and lippy - looking like a 6 year olds version of a proper lady.
Needless to say that everyone who sees her thinks she is the most beautiful creature alive.
I think the moral is that any make up is good make up - unless you look like a melting angry clown - and I would demand praise and envious looks from all around you.
sauce
offlineMember
A 40th treat was an afternoon in the spa baths at Harrogate, ladies' session, courtesy of a dear friend and Mr Sauce - all top secret. Mr Sauce sneaked my swim suit into the luggage for the weekend but, as I didn't know and was expecting a drunken pub crawl around Ilkley, I'd not whisked the strimmer around my hairy little legs. Tut.
The All New Jeni B
offlineMember
Maz, I'm quite sure you still look stunning, and not at all like a cock in a frock.
sauce, I was given a day at the spa in the Old Course Hotel in St Andrews as a pre-thirtieth present. Being a bit "Non-U", I'd taken along my comfy dressing gown, not realising that such exclusive establishments provide their clients with big fluffy gowns.
I looked even more of a complete tit when I got locked outside having sneaked out for a quick smoke.
On arriving home, hubby, who'd arranged the "treat" asked, "Did you have a nice relaxing day, sweetie?"
"Not fucking likely." was the reply.
rickwestwell
offlineMember
Sauce, never even think of going out in Ilkley without shaving your legs. My father my not have left me many words of advice, but at least he made sure I knew this.
You must log in to post.
