George Osborne was celebrating yesterday as figures were released showing a complete turnaround for the British economy thanks to international orders for British Easter eggs and related services going through the roof.
"The level of demand for products and services in the British Easter Egg Industry is now so high we can more or less guarantee full employment for the next two years," said a jubiliant Osborne.
The British Easter Egg concept, which involves taking a normal chocolate bar, packaging it up with a cheap, egg-shaped piece of chocolate and raising the price significantly, has become a huge hit throughout the world with orders coming in from throughout Europe, Asia, Africa and the Americas. Head Chocolatier of Swiss luxury chocolate maker Villtenstein und Boehms said that for years his highly trained team had tried to come up with the perfect chocolate blend for Easter by mixing together an array of cocoas, spices and flavours but ultimately, "just ramping up the price of people's favourite chocolate bar and selling it with a tacky chocolate egg seems to have done the trick."
And it's not just the chocolate egg producers themselves who are making a profit as management consultants throughout the country have seen a sharp rise in demand for their services from producers abroad desperate to find a British Easter Egg concept of their own.
David Phillips, Partner at Lloyds & Smith (a consultancy), explained how his firm saw revenues increase dramatically thanks to a project developing a British Easter Egg concept for the producers of French chocolate bar "Zig-Zag", which brought in over £10,000 a day in consultant fees.
"We headed over to Paris and spent two weeks sampling the best restaurants and staying in luxury five star hotels in order to get a feel for the place. After this research period we discovered that the French had an emotional attachment to the Zig-Zag bar that produced happy childhood memories of playing Pétanque and singing Frère Jacques so we put together a 100 slide Powerpoint presentation, which developed a brand new concept for them. Clearly I'm unable to go into too many details here but the idea basically involved them selling the Zig-Zag bar at an overinflated price along with a cheap cholocate egg."
Despite the celebrations at Downing Street there was one black cloud on the horizon as the release of the positive figures came on the same day that celebrity chef Jamie Oliver announced his new campaign aiming to stop children from eating British Easter Eggs and invest the time in creating their own chocolate eggs using high-quality, fair-trade, organic ingredients.
"The timing of the campaign launch titled 'Don't eat British Easter Eggs, they're crap!' was more than a little unfortunate," admitted Osborne.