As the royal birth draws ever closer, Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy is feeling more and more like a fourth-former with a homework assignment that's never going to get done. For she freely admits she's come up against a brick wall of creative block that could well last another year.
"I know I should have written this ages ago, I mean, I've got poems ready for the death of the Queen, Prince Philip and any other Royal likely to peg out, just in case. But the prospect of a royal baby just slipped my mind somehow. I've started on it a couple of times in the last few weeks, but it's hopeless - everything I write comes out like something by EJ Thribb". She is toying with the idea of calling in sick on the day her birth poem is to be submitted.
Update: It has just been announced that Carol Ann Duffy's iPad has been eaten by her dog. She had no backup files.