Industry insiders warned today that an excess of nerdy virgins threatens to cripple the nation's IT infrastructure. The latest casualty is the NHS 111 service, which has failed to launch despite using the latest digital technology.
"In the 1930s we got the 999 system working with mechanical switches made out of bakelite", said retired telecoms engineer Dan Watson. "With today's technology the 111 service should be a piece of piss. Unfortunately, most of the system is maintained by 40 year old virgins who live with their parents".
David Cameron has announced a further £30 million to get Britain's IT technicians laid. A spokesperson from the English Collective of Prostitutes commented "It's not nearly enough"