Snowy the Scarborough snowman today revealed a family grudge he's been bottling up for, oooooh, days, since he was built in fact.
"I 'ate it when it snows! I'm not simply shivering, I'm shekkin' wi' indignation that Big G should deem it "OK" t'sprinkle t'recycled remains of my ancestors and my potential recycled offspring, willy-nilly, over most o't'country - and on me - at t'drop of a nat! It might be seen as quite moving to some but, when you're rooted t't'ground and couldn't move even if y'wanted to, well, I mean, t'in't crickit. I stand 'ere in Scarborough, year in, year out, facing t'Eastern horizon wi nobbut Jimmy S for company and wi' nobbut a twig for a nairpiece while t'snow drifts down from t'eavens like, er, snow....... Well, I'm a sitting bloody duck. That God bloke had better watch out, that's all I can say 'cos I'm comin' after 'im!!!! 'E's jus' like all them Smar Talex, doin' just as they please, an' ridin' ruff shod over us Yorkies - its tekkin t'"God's Own Country" moniker a bit far in tit. blah blah and more gratuitous Yorkshire-based blah...
Apologies and a tip of a 'nat to contributora recens.
More snow soon