Research published today outlined a major issue facing all political parties in the UK- voters seem unclear as to which party is the least crooked and duplicitous.
Fresh from the row over expenses and revelations over Lord Ashcroft's tax status, Labour's Lord Paul has also been shown to have several significant skeletons in his closet, including asset stripping of British companies, non-payment of fines and secret donations to Gordon Brown's leadership fund.
Carpet-fitter John Adams from Bracknell said last night, "Well, I was all set to vote Tory, 'cos my favourite colour is blue, and then all this stuff about Ashcroft came out. I then thought I'd vote Labour, but then there was this Chilcott thing and them starting a war. I don't really know anything about the Lib Dems, so I'm scuppered, really"
His comments were echoed by Stan Smith from Workington "I said I'd never vote Tory again after Thatcher closed the pits, but after watching Gordon Brown on TV I felt it was time to forgive and forget. Then David Cameron came on and started talking all posh, so that changed my mind. I just saw that Nick Clegg talking about those bankers, but he didn't seem to be speaking English, just reading out headlines from a copy of the Daily Mail. I suppose it'll have to be the BNP then, whioch is a pity 'cos some o' them foreigns are nice enough."
The lead researcher behind the new study, Prof. Duncan Henderson said: "This shows up a key issue for the general election. The public wants to be engaged and vote a positive government in, but all of the likely contenders appear to the electorate to be absolutely bloody terrible. The fascinating thing is- according to the poll we ran- if Screaming Lord Such was still alive, he'd be elected by a landslide".
UKIP's Nigel Farage was unavailable for comment at the time of writing, with doctors describing him as "resting" following a speech in the European Parliament.
