Cypriot President Nicos Anastasiades and party leaders are today bemoaning the latest failed financial recovery plan and are blaming the "unlucky" numbers they bought in the weekend's Euro Lottery.
Anastasiades said "We really thought we'd hit on a sure fire, no pain, plenty of gain, economic strategy to get over the current problems. We sent Finance Minister Michael Sarris down to the newsagents with the last few million Euros we could lay our hands on. It seemed obvious that if we bought enough tickets we'd be bound to have a winner in there somewhere."
Sources inside the Government are suggesting that the total winnings amounted to zero, with no successful winning ticket being bought. "But that does mean we're in line for a Mega Euro Rollover next weekend," added Anastasiades, "so if we can just keep the talks with Germany going until then, we're confident the result will be in our favour."
Unconfirmed reports have been circulating that neighbouring Mediterranean economies are considering following Cyprus' idea and are forming a syndicate to boost their chances of winning.
A spokesman for Euro Lottery said "We're pretty confident about our mathematics. Generally it's not the people who run lotteries who go bust. As far as we're concerned, the more tickets sold, the more we like it. We are in fact considering diversifying our interests in to real estate. We've heard rumours there may be a substantial amount of land about to come on the market at a very attractive price. This land actually forms an entire island in the Mediterranean, and we've heard we may be able to acquire it for as little as €499M, down from €799M."