Trouble erupted at a newly opened Morrisons this morning after the stall traders of the old market that was demolished to make way for the new store invaded and set up shop in the famed marketing ploy that Morrisons call “Market Street”
“We’ll soon have this place looking like the old market!” Said one disgruntled trader as he continued to drop and squish fruit and vegetables on the floor and cover with old cardboard boxes.
At the butchers stall a fight broke out between a Morrisons employee who was trying to wrap his prime locally* sourced, steak in cling film and a trader who insisted that he should at least include; “Half a pand of porkers, six gammon steaks and 3 pand of mince, all for a tenner…. No one? Ok a fiver and that’s my last offer… Fackin ‘ell, you cants are robbin’ me blind! Three quid and it’s yours!”
The police were eventually called after a number of unknown people in beige raincoats set up with open suit cases and started to try and sell obviously knocked of watches and DVDs.
In other news: Morrisons of Norwich was burnt to the ground by farmers protesting about the “Pick Your Own” section of the aforementioned “Market Street” where Morrisons have devised that all loose fruit and vegetables can be chosen by the customer and placed into a conveniently available clear plastic bag and paid for at the till. “Whatever next?” Said Tesco’s head of marketing.
*Local to the EU**
**all continents containing the letter A