Chancellor George Osborne’s ‘aspiration nation’ mantra was today savagely attacked as an ineffective placebo fooling none of the public by Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls.
“Quack Doctor Osborne should realise his failed policies have only created an ‘aspirin nation’ and given everyone a massive headache – it is a bitter pill to swallow.” said Mr Balls.
Mr Osborne retorted: “The incompetent Mr Balls is in a critical condition, but you get used to that. For his chronic verbal diarrhoea I suggest supergluing his lips and standing well back.”
Turning to overseas medical aid, when asked why there are no aspirins in Africa or South America, Mr Osborne said: “parrots eat ‘em all.”