Embattled NHS Chief Sir David Nicholson remained defiant today, insisting he was still “the best man for the job” despite recent video evidence which shows him personally ejecting patients whose illness or injury was not in the government's targets for a reduction in waiting lists.
Speaking at a press conference in West London, Mr Nicholson said “I make no apology. If the government wants us to reduce the waiting list for stomach ulcers, then we can’t afford to have our beds cluttered up with people who need triple heart by-passes. If these namby-pamby nurses won’t do it, I will do it myself.”
Sir David then dropped his pants, did a big shit on the floor and walked out without wiping his bottom.
A concerned doctor from the Chelsea and Kensington Hospital said “Mmmmmmmm! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Mmmmm.”