Leaks emerging from No 11 Downing Street suggest that the Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, is to reintroduce the Elizabethan Poor Tax in his new budget.
“It’s quite startling” he has confided to his Special Advisers and PR men, “that in 2013 in the UK, almost a quarter of the population is living in poverty, struggling on benefits, and generally contributing nothing to the economy. The new poor tax will help change that - it will take the first 25% of their income and provide them with the incentive the lazy bastards need to find some work.”
The proposal has met with criticism from some members of his party who point out that the Elizabethan Poor Tax actually took money from the rich to give to the poor, rather than the other way round, but the Chancellor condemned this as “old world thinking.” “In the current day and age,” he said “we know who the wealth creators are, the people who toil and sweat over their futures and options screens and make donations to the Conservative party. These are the people we need to encourage - at the moment the more you earn the higher the rate of tax you pay – what kind of an incentive is that!”