Reports of a job sighting somewhere in the East Midlands have been greeted with scepticism by experienced job seekers.
'It's probably just another IDS,'said unemployed Gary Bristow, who explained that an IDS is an imaginary vacancy, found inside Department for Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith's uninhabited skull, that has escaped its orbit to create trouble for the unemployed of the world.
'Or it could just be a Poundlander,' he added, explaining that Poundlanders are entities, launched from Jobcentre Plus under the supreme command of Mr Duncan Smith, that look like jobs, but when approached up close are seen to be just bottomless black holes masquerading as paid work.
Iain Duncan Smith, the mad and dangerous Overlord of the World of Work, has joined forces with ATOS, evil force from Across The Water (France), and the Toffs (Eton), in an attack on the Poor People and their allies The Disabled People who inhabit diverse regions of the UK, particularly the alien and distant frozen North.
Surrounded by what he believes in his crazed imagination to be millions of 'blood sucking scroungers, skivers, benefit cheats, beggars, sofa-surfers, homeless vagrants, the work-shy and persons who did not go to Eton or serve in the Scots Guards,' Overlord Duncan Smith has unleashed his Universal Credit death ray designed to destroy all his enemies in one master stroke by completely emptying their pockets of all monies.
Gary, though, after two years of unemployment is now philosophical, and says he's sitting tight until 2015 and the landing of the general election liberation army.
'That,' he said, 'is when the Empire Strikes Back.'