Such is the standard of punnery, I'm tempted to give it another week to allow it to sink to even greater depths - top work, thanks and honourable mentions to all entrants. But I suppose it's time to end the misery and announce a winner. Very tricky to judge but here is my verdict:
In third place, weematt with the reference to small salmon being served - parr for the course
In second, charlie's hat with his very clever entry regarding a father taking a golfing NVQ
But first is Ironduke with his truly awful reference to a discussion at a deli counter, http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58081
Absolutely dreadful. Congrats Ironduke.