'You moaning cunts' said one snowflake, who risked life and icy sticky-out bit during his journey to Abingdon. 'Kids up north fucking love us to bits. But down here? It's all 'why haven't they gritted? and 'I suppose I'll have to stay in and tut.' I've half a mind to freeze up their central heating'.
The council apologised for the sudden influx of northern culture, and vowed not to let them settle in future.