A vegetarian has annoyed pretty much everyone by buying a pizza containing meat, then refusing to take responsibility for his actions. Mr. Job S. Worth (of 1 Bureaucrat Place, T05 5ER) mistakenly bought the meaty morsel but failed to notice the contents as he put it into the oven, despite the meat being on the top of the pizza.
To add insult to injury, he didn't notice the meaty smell as he removed it from the oven, nor tasted it as he chewed and swallowed at least three mouthfuls. When asked to comment, Mr. Worth said,
"Some might think a vegetarian would check their food more, but given the usual shite we eat, and being bloody minded, I didn't bother. Why should I? Why should I smell the food before tasting it, or even tasting it before swallowing it, what's a guy to do just to be able to shovel food down without worry?"
When asked if he should have been more observant, he retorted,
"Why do the supermarkets even stock meat? I don't like it. The supermarkets don't even provide warning signs at the door that 'some products contain meat, so read the labels'. I shouldn't have to anyway. In fact, I think the food industry should be blamed for supplying meat to the supermarkets. In fact, blame the animals too. Not once did they consider me when they were eating all that grass."
Mr. Worth was asked if he had smoked any lately, but he ignored that line of questioning, so our reporter then asked about the £5,000 compensation claim he has raised with the supermarket and whether or not he was taking advantage of the system.
"No I'm not. I didn't design the system, so that's not my fault either. Look! I've had it with this country. Every fast-food place is meat laden. Every burger van sells burgers. Why can't we have just One Kentucky Fries Lentil Soup? Why??"
At this point our reporter asked Mr. Worth to pop back into the supermarket and buy an identical one for comparison. As you can see, the meat is quite difficult to spot.
At this point, we had to end the interview as a small queue of people had formed in order to give Mr. Worth a good slap.
