The Vatican has revealed they sold the commercial rights to the Papacy to Bernie Ecclestone for an undisclosed sum last week. It gave him the final say over who would become the new Pope along with some additional marketing opportunities. The Formula One supremo was chosen for his ability to maximise revenues from a large and enthusiastic fanbase. His choice of Francis 1st or 'Pope F1 (tm)' as he will be known is seen as a nod to the great Argentine F1 champion Fangio.
A Vatican Grand Prix has already been pencilled in for late October in a now 20 race calendar. New BBC commentator Suzi Perry said she was looking forward to seeing F1 cars racing through the medieval basilica and on through the Vatican gardens before thundering over the start/finish in St Peters square. The Sistine chapel is to be bulldozed to make way for more corporate hospitality grandstands.
A teaser photo of the new Popemobile has been released before its debut tomorrow. Pope F1 will be performing donuts for the crowd with incense belching out of the exhausts. Traditionalists have questioned some of the new sponsors but Ecclestone commented ‘I bought the rights, never mind all this old fashioned religion nonsense this is business.’