Iranian President Ahmadinejad was yesterday caught by a predatory sex attacker and tricked into a perverse sexual practice, cynically described by naïve Western media as a ‘comforting hug’. Fortunately she was found out by Iranian conservatives who admirably demonstrated that being religious means being compassionate – it’s not just about being obsessed with sex.
“I had been in a distant relationship with someone claiming to be the President of Venezuela” said Ahmadinejad. “It just seemed so believable, especially when he claimed to hate all the same countries as me. But when I went to meet him, it turned out he had ‘died’ and instead I was cornered by a cougar who turned out to be his mother. I must admit I was tempted – she was dressed in this sexy little black number. In my country black is definitely a must have for any young woman’s wardrobe. It turned out she was underage, as she had not yet had her 180th birthday, when a woman is afforded rights and respect in my country.”
Ahmadinejad went on to say he regretted not being as strong-willed as Mehrdad Karam Zadeh, the Iranian Paralympic athlete who successfully fended off a wanton attempt by a woman called Kate, claiming to be ‘a Princess’, to get him to father the next king of Britain during a live-broadcast medal ceremony. Zadeh’s refusal to touch the pretty young woman is a benchmark in the study of inter-cultural contact, labelled as ‘more English than the English’ as it turned an ordinary social situation into one in which everyone felt creepily uncomfortable.
Ahmadinejad’s attacker, however, was unrepentant. “A young girl’s heart was just stolen: the open shirt, the stubble, the offer of immediate access to inspect his weapons stockpile” said ‘Mrs Chavez’ of Caracas. “He promised me whirling romance with a refined gentleman. I think that’s what he said – something about centrifuges and uranium too. He said he was going to be an astronaut, so after we had consummated our relationship I begged him to take me to Mars. Then his people told me the Iranian space capsule would have to be divided to keep us apart and even the recycling of urine into drinking water would have to be kept separate too. It was then I realised they were taking the piss.”
Ahmadinejad entrapped by South American cougar
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Iranian President Ahmadinejad was yesterday caught by a predatory sex attacker and tricked into a perverse sexual practice, cynically described by naïve Western media as a ‘comforting hug’. Fortunately she was found out by Iranian conservatives who admirably demonstrated that being religious means being compassionate – it’s not just about being obsessed with sex.Posted 9 months ago #
This is my first time. Any advice gratefully received.Posted 9 months ago #
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